Jun. 25th, 2008


Jun. 25th, 2008 12:05 am
dearorlando: (Default)
Dear Orlando,

With all the high-powered cameras available today, how do you manage to forget that proper manners dictate you must not stand in the doorway of high-class hotels in just your red flip-flops? People will spend all their afternoon tea time disputing whether or not your mother raised you in a barn.


Someone Who Taught You Better

Dear Mum,

I already said I’m sorry!

We can argue the toss another month, but I’m still dead cert I asked her to close the curtains. She says I was supposed to get them, since I was last in the door. I was just trying to be gentlemanly, letting the lady go first. Next thing she’s laughin’ at me, just takin’ the piss, and saying “Don’t look now!” and all, so what’s a bloke ‘sposed to do? Of course I turned ‘round and looked!

Good thing she was close enough for me to grab her towel.

And I did listen to you. I did. You said “Never wear red shoes after 6 pm”. I changed before we went to dinner, just like always.

Oh, and Vi— I mean, a friend of mine rang me up just a bit ago. He wanted to know if you need a new mouse, ‘cause his clicker is all bodged up and he’s ordering another and they’re having a 2-for-1 special. I told him go ahead and get you one and bill me, but he’ll have to come hook it up. Hope that’s okay.

And I’m sorry. Really. Sorry.

You can send me the bill for the doctor visit and your new glasses. Is your blood pressure any better yet?

Love you.


dearorlando: (Default)

June 2008

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